Hello again, dear friends! Long time no see in these here parts of the internet! How have y'all been? I figured I'd drop back in to share some of my recent favorites from the end of 2024 and the start of 2025.

I read Blood Over Bright Haven by M.L. Wang at the end of this past December 2024, and although that was now four whole months ago I am still thinking about how much I love this book!

Blood Over Bright Haven is an Adult dark academia fantasy novel which heavily focuses on themes of sexism and racism and how academia can exacerbate those things. It's about a woman, Sciona Freynan, who's the first female mage to be accepted to research at the most prestigious university in her society. But when she enters the university, she finds herself facing many sexist adversaries, who, as a cruel joke, give her a janitor of a different, oppressed race (named Thomil) as a lab assistant. Sciona isn't willing to let this cruelty stop her, though, and she decides to take whatever assistance she can get from Thomil and use it to her advantage. However, she and Thomil eventually discover that a dark and dangerous secret is holding Sciona's society together and must decide how to confront this evil.

This standalone novel ripped my heart to shreds in the best way possible. It's a rarity for me to enjoy tragic stories, but this one got me hook, line, and sinker and it's a story that I will remember for a looooooong time.

My latest literary obsession has been my current read, the new YA dystopian novel Fable for the End of the World by Ava Reid. I read Reid's debut novel The Wolf and the Woodsman and didn't enjoy it much, but absolutely adored her YA dark academia fantasy A Study in Drowning, so I was interested in seeing how she'd write YA dystopian. Turns out she writes dystopian astonishingly well and I think she could honestly bring YA dystopian back from the dead. Part of why I think Reid writes dystopian so well is how based in our current reality she has clearly made Fable for the End of the World. The story and world are very much based in capitalistic oppression of the masses and the resultant climate degradation that can occur. And let me just say: as a reader who has lived in poverty at the hands of capitalism for the majority of my life, I have almost never seen poverty in literature illustrated with such clarity, nuance, and accuracy and it made me feel so seen! I honestly can't wait to see how Fable for the End of the World plays out, even though I sense that heartbreak is ahead. Definitely give this thought-provoking book a chance!

Of course, as a big fan of Jenny Han's To All The Boys... universe both on page and on screen, I've been watching XO, Kitty Season 2 on Netflix since it released this past January. I love this series so much, especially as I've always wanted to see more of Kitty since I first read To All The Boys I've Loved Before back in 2015 (I can't believe it was 10 years ago now)! Kitty has always been such a vibrant character, and I love the way that XO, Kitty has fleshed her out and allowed her to grow. Plus, I love all of Kitty's friends at KISS too, all of them are equally as colorful and fun! I love that Season 2 shows Kitty really growing into her bisexuality, it's so lovely to watch. Of course, naturally, she still makes some mistakes, but she is just a teenager after all. I also love the K-Pop storyline, it's so much fun and such a great way to up the drama of the series. All in all, XO, Kitty is a great series full of teeange hilarity and hijinks that'll have you hooked from the go!!

I've also been slowly making my way through Netflix's animated series Blue Eye Samurai and OMG I have been enjoying it so much! The series is about a mixed race (Japanese/White) samurai, Mizu, who is seeking vengeance on the last white men in historic Japan because one of them is Mizu's father and thus made Mizu the "abomination" that society views them as. Blue Eye Samurai is an interesting look at historic Japanese culture and how it viewed being multiracial which is infused with plenty of action and adventure (and even a hint of romance) to keep viewers gripped! Also, the animation is astonishinigly beautiful (and that's coming from Yours Truly, who doesn't typically find many animated series that I enjoy)! I'm still at the beginning of this series, but in all honesty I'm excited to see where it goes! If you've yet to check out Blue Eye Samurai, definitely fix that ASAP!!!

Lately I've been really loving Doechii, but then again who hasn't?! I love her latest album and I'm so proud of her Grammy win and excited to hear what's coming up from her!!! Her jazzy flow mixed with her 90s hiphop throwback kinda vibe of sound is AMAZING and has me GAGGED everytime I listen!! I also adore her NPR Tiny Desk performance, which you should definitely watch if you haven't already!

I discovered Egyptian/Italian singer Lella Fadda through her COLORS performance of her single "Tarat Tarat Tat," which I immediately fell in love with! Naturally, I knew I had to hear more from Lella, so I rushed to listen to her latest album, Magnun, which I also fell in love with. Lella's music is kinda a mix of Arabic hyperpop and Arabic rap, which you'd think would be difficult to mix together, but Lella seems to do so with ease. Whether or not you're a fan of modern Arabic music or not, I'm begging y'all to give Lella Fadda a listen!!!

I discovered Avie Sheck's collabs with his mom via Instagram reels, and I am so glad I did! The reel I saw was a clip of him (a pop musician) and his mom (who trained in classical Indian singing) covering Radiohead's "Creep" and merging it with classical Indian singing, and it was gorgeous! Like, just inject that shit right into my veins levels of beautiful music!!! If you've yet to have heard that cover and his cover of Coldplay's Yellow (which also features his mom), I implore you to listen to them ASAP!

I also found trans musician August Riley Greenwood's song "When I Die (Ol' Carolina)" through Instagram reels (I guess my algorithm isn't as cursed as other people's...yet), and instantly fell in love with it. It's a folk/bluegrass song about the trans experience in the American south, and it's so heartfelt and moving. You can tell August put their heart and soul into writing, singing, and performing the song. I encourage you all to go listen to it.

There's this Substack I follow where the writer puts together a weekly list of articles and essays from around the web that they find interesting. It was through one of these weekly lists that I found Aeon, which is an online magazine that focuses on articles and essays about the natural sciences, the social sciences, and the humanities. *cue me discovering a new hyperfixation* There are so many fascinating pieces on Aeon, and I encourage you to just check it out and read through anything and everything that piques your interest!

Lately I've been enjoying the videos from YouTuber and sewist Sydney Graham. Her videos are a mixture of vlogs and sewing tutorials, with a few beginner crochet videos thrown in there too, and they're all always so cozy! Lately I've been wanting to invest more in learning textile arts and crafts such as sewing, knitting, crochet, and hand embroidery, so finding Sydney's channel was a godsend! I love sitting down with my crochet and working on it while listening to and watching her videos. Her pleasant chatter makes me feel like I'm working with a friend. If you're a crafty girly, I highly recommend watching her content!

I've also been really enjoying and finding comfort in Bonnie's channel Bonnie Barton lately. Her vlogs are so cozy and aesthetic and motivate me to make my life a bit more cozy. I also love that she gives great examples of taking part in cozy, non computer-based and non phone-based activities in each of her videos. I've been looking to get less screentime lately, so this is perfect for my needs!

Hello again, dear friends, I hope this past month treated you well. June seems to have fizzled away into the hazy summer air, as it does every year, and yet here I am once again startled at its loss. But, of course, every ending is a beginning and closing one door allows you to open a totally different portal to a magical new world. So, allow me to fondly reminisce on what this past month gave me that I'll be taking with me...

1. Rest. I am someone who is chronically on-the-go, much to the distaste of my constantly fraying nerves. I rarely give myself a break, be it physical, mental, or emotional, and if you're about to say that's just a form of trying to run away from my problems, lemme tell ya: that assumption is correct. Rest has always been something I've always had a bit of a contentious relationship with because rest typically brings time and time typically brings mental and emotional space and mental and emotional space typically brings contemplation and for me contemplation, unfortunately, brings The Anxieties™. But this June, after two months of mental health treatment...I just let myself rest. And you know what? I'm not gonna lie to you and tell you that my anxiety didn't creep in a bit, because it did. But I let those feelings and thoughts come and go and tried my best not to hang onto them for dear life. And that mentality? That mentality allowed me to rest a bit more than I usually do, and for that I am so grateful.
2. Motivation. With rest came a bit more mental clarity, which ultimatley allowed me to feel slightly more motivated than I have in recent times. I'm taking this summer and fall off from college, but, funnily enough, I feel more motivated than ever! I don't want to spend this down time just bed rotting. I want to make it meaningful. In addition to therapy, I'm thinking I'd love to volunteer and spend time getting out of the house with friends more often if possible.

I finally managed to finish a book and it feels so good!! Plus, it helps that I enjoyed the book too, haha! The book in question is Veronica Roth's latest release, a novella titled When Among Crows. I'll admit that I haven't read anything from Roth since I read The Divergent Trilogy (which was about a decade ago), so I was interested in checking out how she's grown as a writer. I was especially intrigued because despite The Divergent Trilogy holding a special place in my heart due to its themes, I can recognize that it was an objectively poorly written series. So color me surprised when I found that When Among Crows was incredibly well written!!! When Among Crows is an urban fantasy about monsters from Polish folklore and the people who hunt them. It's about the weight of carrying your wrongs with you, about forgiviness and atonement. And it's incredible in its whole. I won't go too deep into detail, because the synopsis already spoils a MAJOR twist and I think it's better to just go in pretty fresh, but what I will say is that this powerful novella is so worth the read!

First up, I loved Carley's absolutely latest hilarious, hour and a half long recap of Riverdale (part three)! Carley always has very humorous and on-point commentary about how ridiculous this particular TV series became as it progressed, and watching her videos on the topic gets me to quite literally laugh out loud! If you've yet to watch this YouTube video (or any of Carley's videos, for that matter) then you've definitely got to add it to your list!

I also really enjoy Rowan Ellis's video essays, and her latest one on the chronically online state of asexual discourse was very interesting. As someone who identifies as asexual herself, Rowan approaches the topic from a very knowledgeable and compassionate place. Whether or not you're asexual and/or see yourself as a member of the LGBT+ community, I think this video is an important watch!

Jack Edwards is one of my favorite booktubers despite our diverging taste in books, so I was eager to watch his video all about modern books he thinks will become classics. I think his picks and his reasoning for each were very thoughtful, and the video really got me thinking about which books I think will become classics. If you, like me, are a book lover, then this video is a must-watch!

• Practicing Active Gratitude

Well hello again, dear friends and fellow revolutionaries-in-training! ’Tis I, your friendly neighborhood Lila, returning from yet another trip around the sun and prepping for a new wild adventure! How y’all doing? Hopefully you are all safe, healthy, and happy and, if not, hopefully brighter days head your way soon!

So, recently I was watching this video from Seo at the channel tbhstudying that’s all about if we’re doing gratitude journaling wrong. It’s a really great video in which Seo shares her personal experience with gratitude journaling, alongside some scientific findings, and suggests a slight tweak to the practice. The modification she suggests is what I would call “active gratitude.” That is, instead of only writing down what we are grateful for, we should also engage in showing others and the world our gratitude through our words and actions. Suffice to say, I wholeheartedly agree with her!

I’ve kinda alluded to this before, but one of the things I find really frustrating about American culture is the sense of individualism and the entitlement that comes with it. When we think of ourselves as only ourselves (as opposed to thinking of ourselves as part of a worldwide interconnected communal web of sorts) we tend to think of everything we receive in life as for us. We think less about the giving, and even less about how we could continue that giving. But what Seo suggests in her video is kinda the antithesis of that. Because if we are truly grateful for what we have, shouldn’t we want to share it with others? I certainly think so.

I’ve always had a hard time with gratitude journaling for similar reasons to Seo—it seems too…insular? So, I love the idea of making gratitude an act. Not just a simple “Thanks” and a hug, though, but rather a tradition of giving that may just start a chain reaction. That’s why I think from 2024 onward, I’d like to partake in the revolutionary act of active gratitude, and I hope you’ll join me!

Well, that’s all I got for ya today, friends. Stay colorful!

Well hello again, people of the internet! 'Tis I, your friendly neighborhood Lila, returning from yet another trip around the sun and prepping for a new wild adventure! How y’all doing? Hopefully you are all safe, healthy, and happy and if not, hopefully brighter days head your way soon!

We have gathered here today, dearly beloved people, to do something quite fun, that is: to gab about my personal favorite things of 2023! I'll be honest with y'all: 2023 was "meh" for Yours Truly, BUT (!!!) it was brightened in part by some fun thingamabobs a-plenty that I gathered up right now to share with you!! So, today I want to tell you all about them!! Let's get right to it!!!

The first book in an epic fantasy series for fans of Sabaa Tahir, Hafsah Faizal and Elizabeth Lim, set in an Arabian-inspired land. Raised to protect her nation from the monsters lurking in the sands, seventeen-year-old Imani must fight to find her brother whose betrayal is now their greatest threat.

In the hidden desert city of Qalia, secret spice magic awakens affinities in those who drink the misra tea. With an affinity for iron, seventeen-year-old Imani wields a dagger like no other warrior, garnering her the reputation as the next greatest Shield for battling the dangerous djinn, ghouls, and other monsters that lurk in the sands beyond city limits.

Her reputation has been overshadowed, however, by her brother who tarnished the family name after he was discovered stealing their nation's coveted spice - a tell-tale sign of magical obsession. He disappeared soon after, believed to have died beyond the Forbidden Wastes, and leaving Imani reeling with both betrayal and grief.

But when Imani uncovers evidence her brother may be alive and spreading their nation's magic beyond the desert, she strikes a deal with the Council to find him and bring him back to Qalia before he can reveal the city's location. Accompanied by Qayn, a roguish but handsome djinni, and Taha, a powerful beastseer whose magical talents are matched only by his arrogance, they set out on their mission.

Imani will soon discover there are many secrets that lie beyond the Forbidden Wastes - and in her own heart - but will she find her brother before his betrayals endanger the fate of all of Qalia?

In this epic and action-packed fantasy, one young heroine navigates the treacherous road between protecting the ones you love and staying loyal to the place you call home.

Spice Road was my second read of this year (first pleasure read of the year, considering my first read of the year was a required college text), and lemme tell ya: it set the standard so high it's unbelieveable!! Now, y'all probably know I'm part Lebanese, so this Arab-inspired YA fantasy written by a Lebanese author was high up on my "Most Anticipated Books of 2023" list the moment I heard about it, and THANK. GOD. those high expectations were not only met but exceeded! Spice Road isn't just an action packed Arabian fantasy adventure, though. It tackled themes of racism, colonization, empire, classism, and being a bystander to these things, and it managed to do so with an extraordinary amount of grace (without coming off as preachy). If you're in the market for a new YA fantasy adventure, then I implore you to check out Spice Road!

A while back I discovered and fell absolutely in love with this post-apocalyptic fantasy audiodrama called Birds of Empire! The series follows members of four different post-apocalyptic "tribes" and the political machanations that each character is drawn into. The production of the show, the storytelling, and the voice acting are all absolutely EXCELLENT! It's truly an addicting audiodrama!! If you're a fan of audiodrama podcasts and/or audiobooks, or if you'd like to dip your toes into the format, definitely give Birds of Empire a listen!

Okay, I'm not even kidding when I tell you that just thinking about this TV series brings a giddy grin to my face!! I read Jenny Han's To All The Boys I've Loved Before and the sequel waaaaay back in 2015 and even then I just knew I wanted to know Kitty's eventual story—and that feeling got even stronger after I watched all three of Netflix's film adaptations of Han's trilogy. So you can imagine my excitement when Netflix announced they and Han would be behind a spin-off series all about the adventures of the youngest Song-Covey sister!!

XO, Kitty follows Kitty Song-Covey as she jets off to Korea in search of love. When Kitty discovers her long distance crush, Dae, attends KISS, the exact same Korean boarding school which her mom attended, Kitty just knows she only one choice: she HAS to attend KISS too! But life and love in South Korea aren't quite as simple as Kitty imagined. Between navigating her different cultures, popular girls, rocky friendships, and, of course, LOTS of angsty romance, Kitty has her work cut out for her when it comes to finding happiness at KISS.

Now, lissen. Ya girl ain't usually a planner girly. As a matter of fact, ya girl has a genuinely severe diagnosed case of ADHD. In other words, I usually have a lot of difficultly with executive function skills including planning, time management, and organization. Like, it's...really bad...Anyhoo, all this to say I have struggled for my entire life to find a planner and/or planning system that works for me and that I'm able to stick to. Until this past half a year, that is, because in July of 2023, I purchased a Hobonichi Weeks planner. There are two things I love about this planner:

1. first off, it's condensed enough that it forces me to prioritize tasks because there's only room to write the essenetial BUT if necessary, I can write more on the blank pages next to the weekly spread and/or in the back of the planner.
2. second off, it's decorate-able!!! And who doesn't love to decorate? (don't answer that)

Now, you might be wondering what the Hobonichi Weeks has that bullet journaling doesn't, and for me the answer to that is: preordained structure See, one of the biggest problems for me when it comes to bullet journaling is that it's created by you and based on your internal sense of structure...which, as a certified ADHD Girly™, I do not have. So, if you give me a blank notebook and tell me to create my own planning system from scratch, I start to panic. But the great thing about Hobonichi Weeks is that it's organized for me but I can still decorate it myself and make it my own! *cue tears of joy overflowing*

Are you a Girl™? Do you like to rage (possibly against the machine)?? If so, and you haven't yet listened to SOUR and GUTS by Olivia Rodrigo then I have one question for you...What is it like to live under a rock??? Lol, I'm joking, obvioiusly, but for real, if you are a girly (of any age, really) and you want to rage of about the unfairness of how the world treats women—especially when it comes to romance— then Rodrigo's music is for you!

So, I'm an extroverted girly in her 20s who often feels a little lonely and lost (because, ya know, life as a girly in her 20s is chaotic to say the least) and I've struggled to find a lot of content creators who I fully identify with because many content creators are comfy introverts. But this year I discovered the YouTube channel Katherout and felt so seen! Katherine (the creator of Katherout) is an extroverted creator who also often feels a little lonely and lost and makes videos surrounding advice about that phenomenon. Watching Katherine's videos have made me feel so much less alone!!

So, dear friends, that's all I got for ya today! 2023 may not have been "my year," but hey, it also wasn't a bad year either, and the above gems provided some bright spots! I hope you enjoyed and maybe found something new to check out! Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some adventures calling my name! Until next time and stay colorful, friends!

Bad days, a.k.a. the plague of consciousness, are something we've all experience more than a couple of time in our lives. But you know what never fails to pick me up when I'm feeling funky? Music. Maybe this is because I'm a musician (Hiiiiii! If you're unaware, I'm a classically trained jazz, blues, and soul singer!), but music is my go to pick-me-up because it literally always does the trick. But, of course, it has to be the right kind of music! No sob-inducing ballads for me when I'm in a funk, lest it lead me down a path of wailing and wallowing for days!

Whenever I'm feeling sad, I turn to pop and dance hits to get me up and dancing and feeling at least a little lighter. As a matter of fact, I've always said that if I could institute one required daily ritual for everyone, it would be to have at least one "emergency dork dance party" per day, just for sanity's sake! Which might leave you wondering, "But, Lila, what exactly is an 'emergency dork dance party'??" Well, never you worry, my friends, because I am here to explain: An emergency dork dance party is where, wherever and whenever you are, you drop everything, turn up some good ol' dancin' music, and start dancing. There's only one rule: you have to show off your worst dance moves. That's right: no cool dancing allowed here—that way no one can worm their way out of the ritual with the excuse of "being a bad dancer."

Anyhoo, today I figured I'd give you a taste of what I'm talking about by sharing my Emergency Dance Party playlist. It's got pop/dance hits from around the world that make it absolutely impossible to not get up and move your body! Take a listen, and definitely share your own "emergency dance party" song choices in the comments!

So, a while back, I was bored and scrolling through YouTube when I came across this video from an aesthetic lifestyle YouTuber that was called something like "how to romanticize your life." Curious, I clicked the link and watched the video. It was a very pretty, delicate, aesthetic video, but something about it troubled me and for a few days I couldn't figure out what it was. Finally, it struck me what my issue with the video was: it was incredibly materialistic in its basis, and, on top of that, most of the activities it suggested doing in order to "romanticize your life" were things that required a lot of money.

Now, I'm not trying to shame anyone for their wealth or their lifestyle, but, this vlogger was trying to pitch her version of "romanticizing your life" as being something that could help ease your struggles and stress in the midst of a fast-moving, productivity-obsessed world. But the only people who'd be able to access her version of this would be the upper middle class and the wealthy. And, to utilize a famous quote, "If it is not accessible to the poor, it is neither radical nor revolutionary."

Beyond that, there is also a larger issue with materialistic self care and romanticization. It's that if you're basing your happiness on materialistic things, your happiness will inevitably run out when you no longer have access to those things. Hence why basing your "self care" on a "treat yo' self!" mentality eventually falls apart. Sure, it'd be romantic to go out to a bakery and buy some freshly baked bread, as this vlogger suggested. But is your life any less romantic for not being able to afford it? I'd say not.

This got me thinking on how I'd personally define "romanticizing your life," and what I came down to is that "romanticizing your life" is a mindset, rather than a lifestyle. Which, of course, means that it's inherently accessible to everyone. So, what do I think are the key components of such a mindset? Well, friends, today that's what I'd like to share with you...

1. Being Intentional About Noticing Beauty In Everything Around You A friend once asked me for advice because she was feeling kinda blue. She told me that she was feeling like she would be resigned to accepting that life was just a series of monotonous events strung between very few "big moments of joy," such as graduating or getting married or something similar. So I gave her my perspective, which differed greatly from hers and which is this: There is magic in the ordinary, "small" moments, if only we choose to intentionally notice and appreciate it. Every morning you wake up and it's a miracle. Every moment you live on and the universe keeps moving forward, and there's so much beauty in that. And I know it can seem like the quiet days can drag on sometimes, but those quiet times? Those are the times we dream of going back to when the going gets tough. So we should enjoy them when we have them, even if they're not the most "worldshakingly astounding" events, right? I think so and I think recognizing the quiet, ordinary magic that literally everything in life has is the first key to "romanticizing" your life."


2. Making Self Love A Priority Look, as someone who faces a continuous struggle with depression and anxiety, I know this one is a lot harder than it seems. Nevertheless, we must persist, dear friends! So what do I mean by "self love," exactly? I think pop culture has created a very shallow idea of self love and self care for us, when practicing self love is so much more than bubble baths and repeating mantras to yourself—it's honest to god work! Yes, "self love" can take the form of splurging on a pretty top, but it can also take the form of taking three minutes to meditate or cultivating habits such as taking a walk once or twice a week or making dinner or cleaning or showering even when you don't feel like it. Practicing self love can also be kinda painful at times when it means stopping negative thought sprials or caring for yourself when you don't feel like you're worth it. But it's through these small, sometimes difficult steps that we begin to make our lives better and to free up mental space to recognize more often and be grateful for the beauty and magic of life and our own existence.


3. Making Space Within Yourself This one kind of piggybacks off the previous two, but I think it's equally important. I think, especially in The West, we live very busy, fast paced, noisy lives, where we don't really know how to feel comfortable slowing down our lives, thoughts, and emotions to the point where we can be intentional with and about them. I'm pretty sure this is one reason why DBT, or mindfulness-based therapy, is so popular with (and difficult for) Westerners. That all being said, I think making space within yourself, within your thoughts and emotions, so that you can intentionally notice the world around you and your reactions to it is really crucial to "romanticizing your life"! Think of it like this: if you don't make space in a room to add more to it, you'll end up with a room which has no space for what you love to have a place in it, because it's already too full. Your mind is like the room, and your thoughts and emotions are all the "stuff" you're filling it with. If you try to stuff the room of your mind full of all of the thoughts and emotions that you're hanging onto, instead of allowing those thoughts and emotions to float through and only intentionally keeping the relevant ones, you won't have the mental space to hang onto the recognition of the good and beautiful things in life.


4. Allowing Yourself Space To Feel "Negative" Emotions Too Look, we all know life isn't always rainbows and sunshine. As a matter of fact, I'd say the only quality of life that's pretty consistent is that it's hard work! And you know what? Sometimes that wears you down and that's okay. A lot of people view emotions like anger or sadness (among others) as "bad" or "wrong." But guess what—I couldn't disagree more. You're emotions are never "negative," but the ways in which you express them can sometimes be. Sometimes anger or sadness or frustration or lonliness are the correct emotion to feel. And it's important to take time to remember that. Allow yourself to feel those emotions fully in order to let them pass. I find that doing this gives me great comfort in times when I am feeling those "less desireable" emotions, and allows me to let go of them so that I have the emotional space to be at peace and/or happy once again.

So, friends, that's all for today. Life can be so fast-paced and demanding sometimes that it can really help to stop and take a moment to notice the beauty of being alive. And that's where romanticizing your life can really help you find your footing and feel you have room to breathe. That being said, I hope you may have found something useful when it comes to "romanticizing your life" in today's post! Until next time, dear friends...

My whole life has very much been defined by music. I grew up in a musical household (my dad was a professional musician and my mom was an amateur musician for most of her life), so I suppose it was kinda inevitable that I'd be a musician, the only question was "What type?" It became pretty obvious I'd be a singer as soon as I could string sounds together, though. My mom always fondly recounts how when I was a baby and we'd take the bus I'd always be babbling little musical fragments of "aaaah"s and she'd always jokingly tell the other passengers, "My daughter's going to be an opera singer!" Turns out mother knows best, as much later in life I did indeed choose to train as an opera and jazz singer 😂

Anyhoo, this is all to say music means more than words can express to me, which is why today's post is pretty special to me. Today I want to talk about some of my all-time favorite song lyrics, inspired by this post from my fellow blogger, Riddhi!

Never be so kind, you forget to be clever
Never be so clever, you forget to be kind

— "Marjorie" by Taylor Swift

To be honest, this entire song and its themes really struck at my heart and made me feel the ever-so-infamous Things™. Some background here: my father died when I was seven and my own grandmother died a year after that. This song speaks so beautifully about loss and what it's like when when someone you love so deeply dies. It also beautifully conveys how you always carry the love and lessons of your loved ones who have passed on with you, regardless of their lack of physical presence your life. But that's actually a sort-of tangent. I feel like these particular lyrics convey one of those beloved messages left behind in the wake of someone's loss—and a gorgeous one that really speaks to me, personally, at that.

And I'm so sick of 17
Where's my fucking teenage dream?
If someone tells me one more time
"Enjoy your youth, " I'm gonna cry

— "Brutal" by Olivia Rodrigo

God, if these lyrics don't capture that disappointing feeling of slowly growing up and realizing that life isn't what you thought it would be, then I don't know what does! There's something to be said about the fact that the sentiment of these particular lyrics still ring true with me, despite the fact that age 27, I am way past 17 (and, just a heads up: I'm still wondering where my fucking teenage dream is). I feel like these lyrics—hell, this entire album—really strike at the heart of that uniquely teen and twenty-something urge to just scream and rage at life for how unfair it is. I love this because girls and women are so rarely (if ever) allowed to publicly express anger, even when that anger is justified, like being angry at the unique and inherent injustice we endure throughout our lives. In this way, Rodrigo's anger at life not reflecting the dream she was sold is surprisingly refreshing!

To be wanted with truth
And make formidable love
See light in myself
That I see inside everyone else I know

— "The Deepest Sighs, The Frankest Shadows" Cover by Gretta Ray

Do you want to know a secret, friends? This is one of the only songs that makes me crank out the tears like a fountain.In particular, this is a song lyric that is so hard to talk about because it just so elegantly and concisely describes emotions I've felt so deeply for my entire life. My whole life I've felt this incredible lonliness and this song helped me to know that I'm not alone in that feeling, which in and of itself made me feel a little less alone.

I've got so much soul inside my bones

— "Ultralife" by Oh Wonder

I feel like this lyric perfectly describes who I am as a human being! I've always been very vivacious and full of so much life. This lyric captures that feeling of just being bursting with soul and eagerness to experience all that life has to give. Whenever I hear this song, I remember who I am and why I should love myself, and that's one of the best things a song can give, in my opinion.

And I like sometimes to wave it high
Up where everyone can see
I'm a lady
Got my mind made up
Got my mind made up
I know I spend magic reel it out
Try to hold a light to me
I'm a lady
Got my mind made up
Got my mind made up

— "I'm A Lady" by Santigold

I loved this song when I was in my late teens/early twenties and I recently rediscovered it and remembered why I loved it so much. I feel like these lyrics are just such a beautiful, simple celebration of being a woman and, in the world of late spring/early summer of 2022 where the US's Roe v. Wade ruling is likely to be reversed, I just needed this song right when it found me again!

You taught me the courage of stars before you left
How light carries on endlessly, even after death
With shortness of breath
You explained the infinite
And how rare and beautiful it is to even exist

— "Saturn" by Sleeping at Last

Is there anyone who doesn't cry when they hear this song??? Because I do, like, every time! These lyrics mean so much to me because they remind me how precious life is and how even after death the ones we love never really leave us. Whether it's their memories, or the impression of light their images leave on the backs of our eyelids, they're always there and nothing and no one can take that love from us.

Well, dear friends, that’s all I have for you today. I hope you enjoyed this post and/or maybe found a new song to go listen to! Definitely share your own favorite lyrics in the comments—I’d love to know which ones have struck a chord with you! Until next time…

• What are some of your favorite lyrics?
• Do you have any song lyrics that feel like they define a particular period in your lifetime?

Ahem!

*attempts to sneak into the room as quietly and covertly as possible*

*immediately fails at previously mentioned attempt by way of accidentally bumping into a desk, knocking over a chair, and bonking head on the whiteboard*

*awkwardly waves at silent, staring masses of people in front of self before hurrying up to the lectern*

So, hi, guyyyyyyyyys! 👋

I've been gone for...a while...and, honestly, even that feels life an understatement! Tbh 2021 was a shitshow of a year and my physical and mental health both took a nosedive and crash landed in the sewer. Of course, just in time, my overdramatic, bitchy archnemesis, aka Mental Health Meltdown, made an unfortunate and most unwelcome reappearance right around the holidays, meaning even the last few days of 2021 were spent...in a "less than fun" manner, to put it lightly...

But have no fear, I'm still here, friends! Fortunately right at the beginning of 2022 I was able to start the process of getting what I need in regards to both my physical and mental health and I'm steady on the mend now! (Thank GOD for the wonders of "Better Living Through Chemistry™," as my mom calls what is otherwise known as "perscribed medications" lol!)

Fortunately, during my aforementioned prolongued hiatus from hell I did manage to find some new favorites to help me make it through, so I figured I'd share them with y'all!

Have you seen this show? Y'all, it's absolutely to die for! 😉 Only Murders in the Building is a murder mystery dramedy about three true crime obsessed neighbors and unlikely friends who team up to start a true crime podcast about solving what they believe was a murder that occurred in their NYC apartment building. And it's FABULOUS! I've always been a fan of Sherlock Holmes-ish murder mysteries, so it's like this show was tailor made for me! Plus, the ddition of comedic elements makes it extra fun. I am begging y'all to give this show a try if you have yet to see it!

I'm part Lebanese, so I grew up listening to Arabic music, and my love of it has stayed with me throughout my life. So, naturally, when I discovered Dana Salah via TikTok I became obsessed! In particular, her song "Weino" always gets me ready to hop on the dance floor.

If you're looking for some weird and wacky real life historical inspiration for your latest creative writing project, then Noble Blood is for you, my friend! Dedicated to digging into the wonderfully strange stories of history's most notorious nobles, this podcast is in turns informative and hilarious.

One thing I'm sure you'll soon find out about me is that I love a good fantasy story, whether it's a book series, movie, show, or podcast! And The Wheel of Time series adaptation DEFINITELY falls into the category of "a good fantasy story!" Granted, I have yet to read the beloved source material, but I've fallen head-over-heels for the show!

The Alexandrian Society is a secret society of magical academicians, the best in the world. Their members are caretakers of lost knowledge from the greatest civilizations of antiquity. And those who earn a place among their number will secure a life of wealth, power, and prestige beyond their wildest dreams. Each decade, the world’s six most uniquely talented magicians are selected for initiation – and here are the chosen few...

- Libby Rhodes and Nicolás Ferrer de Varona: inseparable enemies, cosmologists who can control matter with their minds.
- Reina Mori: a naturalist who can speak the language of life itself.
- Parisa Kamali: a mind reader whose powers of seduction are unmatched.
- Tristan Caine: the son of a crime kingpin who can see the secrets of the universe.
- Callum Nova: an insanely rich pretty boy who could bring about the end of the world. He need only ask.

When the candidates are recruited by the mysterious Atlas Blakely, they are told they must spend one year together to qualify for initiation. During this time, they will be permitted access to the Society’s archives and judged on their contributions to arcane areas of knowledge. Five, they are told, will be initiated. One will be eliminated. If they can prove themselves to be the best, they will survive. Most of them.

Okay, technically I'm still reading this book, but I'm over halfway (67% to be exact) through it and asdfghjkl I love it so freaking much!!! If you somehow haven't hear of The Atlas Six, it's a book about a group of twenty-somethings with magical powers who are competeing to join a powerful secret society. And aaaah it's the best! I love the characters, and the plot is pretty intriguing. You absolutely have the check it out if you haven't yet!

This is quite a surprise to me as I did not start out at all interested in listening to Doja Cat's music. Nevertheless, she (and her music) persisted, and slowly but surely grew on me. In addition to being undeniably fun music, I love how the subtle theme of female empowerment runs through a lot of Doja's music. So I admit it: ...I was wrong.

We all know it's true: dating in your twenties in this modern world absolutely sucks, especially as a woman! That being said, the unique sense of sisterhood you get out of comiserating about this issue with other twenty-something women and dismantling any and all of your internalized misogyny together is like no other! I think that's why I enjoy Maddie Dragsbaek's channel so damn much! Maddie's videos are about all things relationship, sex, dating, and self love and I just can't get enough.

Well, dear friends, that's all I have for you today. I hope you enjoyed this post and maybe found something new to love! Until next time...

Hey, friends! A while back, the internet flew into a frenzy over whether or not you have an internal monologue. Apparently, the majority of people have an internal monologue and are simply amazed and astounded by those of us who just…don’t. And, yes, I said “those of us” because—surprise!—I am, in fact, someone who does not think via internal monologue.

It’s always been obvious to me that people think in different ways—how could we not, given how each human being sees and experiences the world in vastly different ways? So the fact that some people have an internal monologue and others of us don’t doesn’t exactly shock me. I do understand, though, how others could find not having an internal monologue confusing.

The main question people have been asking seems to be “How???” So I figured I’d give a bit of insight. Mind you, this is only my experience. As I mentioned above, I don’t think anyone (let alone everyone) thinks alike, even if we have general trends in how we think. So, with that being said, let’s get into the good stuff!

My thoughts tend to come to me via this nebulous “thought cloud” of internal sensations, external observations, and emotions. For me, thinking is a quick albeit very all-consuming process. It involves all of my senses, as well as my emotions. Everything connects and interacts to form a greater picture.

So, for instance, if you said to me, “Imagine a pie,” I would visualize the pie in vivid detail, taste the way a pie might taste, feel the sensation of the pie in my mouth, feel the momentary happiness that the taste of pie might bring. Now, this might seem like a lot of emotional and sensory information for a mind to take in, but for me, this thought would occur in nanoseconds (or less).

I recently learned that this ability to imagine things in life-like, full sensory detail is actually called hyperphantasia, and is, apparently, also not how everyone thinks or imagines things. In the words of a 2019 BBC Science Focus article, people with hyperphantasia are described as:

[Describing] pictures so vivid that they can find it hard to be sure whether an image was perceived or imagined.

For me, this is exactly it! And while it might sound amazing in some regards (imagine having the ability to imagine the fantasy worlds of literature coming to life in astonishing detail!), it can also be frustrating and distracting, if I let it go unchecked.

For example, I remember a little while back a friend and I were having a conversation where she was relaying an experience to me and mentioned in passing getting a paper cut on her finger. I remember wincing and grimacing in pain as she said this. My finger had stung and ached as she’d spoken and I’d imagined the paper cut. It subsided after a moment, but it still reminded me of an important point about how I think, imagine, and perceive reality: my mind is as powerful as actual, real life is when it comes to creating the things I experience, and I have a responsibility to myself and others to remember that not everything I perceive is actually reflective of the truth of life.

Now for most adults who’ve had a philosophy or a psychology course or even just gone to a therapy session or two, this realization might sound rather obvious, but I cannot stress how impactful experiencing such a lesson in such a physical way can be. It’s one thing to know in concept that our realities is mostly a construct of our minds and another thing to actually experience that fact first hand.

Apparently I’m not the only one to pick up on this fact, as scientists are reported to be studying people with hyperphantasia in an attempt to find out more about consciousness (which, call me biased, but I think sounds like amazingly cool research!).

Now that I think about it, the way that I think actually has a startlingly large impact on me. I’ve always been a fairly emotional person who’s very sensitive and empathetic. Although I’m extroverted, I do fall into the category of being a “Highly Sensitive Person” (a.k.a. an “HSP”) and I think that can largely be attributed to the fact that I think in the way that I do. It’s very easy for me to become fully immersed in my thoughts, emotions, memories, and imaginings in a very visceral way—and that can be both a good thing and a bad thing.

On the one hand, I think my way of thinking makes me incredibly intuitive and empathetic, which is great. But on the other hand, I think it can also exacerbate my depression and anxiety, as well as my ADHD. This is because, for me, mental “scenes” are as vivid and as emotional as if they are actually occurring in real life. Which also means they’re equally as emotionally, mentally, and physically overwhelming and draining.

The way that I think also allows me to understand, analyze, and manipulate systems very well and very quickly, as I’m good at understanding connections between things because of the all-encompassing way that I think. This definitely comes in handy in my fields of study (which are physics and anthropology) because such fields are all about global systemic analysis rather than linear understanding.

All in all, I’m glad for the way that I think, even when it’s draining. I think it allows me to do far more than it inhibits me from doing. And, that being said, I think it’s fascinating that we all think in different manners and with different methods! I personally would love to look into more research and findings on the patterns in how humans think! But maybe that’s just me being nerdy, lol. Regardless, reflecting on the topic does make you think about how unique we all are and yet we’re still connected by these amazing patterns of nature. It’s amazing! Anyhoo, dear friends, I should probably get back to my regularly scheduled reading, but thank you for stopping by to read this random deep dive of mine. Until next time, pals…

• Ashleigh’s video about being a reader with aphantasia
• Naemi’s post exploring the question of what you “see” when you’re reading

• How do you think about and imagine things?
• Do you have an internal monologue?
• Do you have hyperphantasia?
• Or maybe you have aphantasia (the lack of the ability to imagine things)?

Well, dear friends, it would appear that we are well into summer and I am running late. Again. *sigh*

So, what am I running late in regards to? Well, that would be to posting my Spring 2021 favorites. Since I got my second dose of the COVID-19 vaccine back in late April of this year, this past spring was essentially my last season in strict quarantine (and thank god for that!). So, naturally, I figured I'd share my favorite things that got me through that last little lead up to freedom! Now, I'm not gonna dilly-dally any longer, seeing as I'm already late—let's jump right in!

Sixteen-year-old Deka lives in fear and anticipation of the blood ceremony that will determine whether she will become a member of her village. Already different from everyone else because of her unnatural intuition, Deka prays for red blood so she can finally feel like she belongs.

But on the day of the ceremony, her blood runs gold, the color of impurity--and Deka knows she will face a consequence worse than death.

Then a mysterious woman comes to her with a choice: stay in the village and submit to her fate, or leave to fight for the emperor in an army of girls just like her. They are called alaki--near-immortals with rare gifts. And they are the only ones who can stop the empire's greatest threat.

Knowing the dangers that lie ahead yet yearning for acceptance, Deka decides to leave the only life she's ever known. But as she journeys to the capital to train for the biggest battle of her life, she will discover that the great walled city holds many surprises. Nothing and no one are quite what they seem to be--not even Deka herself.

I've been having a really wonky reading year so far in that almost all of the books I've read have either been average or (unfortunately) below average. So you can imagine my surprise when I found myself genuinely enjoying The Gilded Ones! Like, this book is so good, y'all!! It's got feminism, friendship, magic, intrigue, and there's even an adorable animal sidekick thrown in the mix! What more could you ask for?!

I've been a long-time big fan of Leigh Bardugo's Shadow and Bone trilogy and Six of Crows duology (and of her wider Grishaverse series as well), so when I heard Netflix was adapting those two interlocking series as a single show, I was absolutely ecstatic! Of course, I did have my worries, but it turns out there was no need for them because I couldn't have asked for a better adaptation! The show is so true to Bardugo's original works, and where it diverges from the source material, it still manages to ring true to the characters. What can I say, it did not disappoint as an adaptation! The one gripe I do have is how Alina's racial heritage was treated in the show. That being said, I'm considering doing a whole post on that topic, so I'll save my full thoughts for later. Overall I loved the show and I'm absolutely ecstatic that it's getting a second season!

As a 1994 "Zillennial" (a.k.a. a "Cusper" a.k.a. a "Confused Cusp Kid"), I'm not so far removed from Gen Z that I'm in the grumbling "Ugh! Kids these days!" phase of aging yet (folks, I think it's safe to say: the kids are alright). I love so much of Gen Z's generational "culture," and, of course, that includes the music! So, it's only natural that I've fallen completely in love with Olivia Rodrigo's recently released debut album, SOUR! First off, as a fellow singer, I have to say that Rodrigo's voice is absolutely AMAZING!! I think it's something these days when you can hear that the artist is using little to no autotune, so listening to SOUR really was a special treat. Furthermore, beyond her singing, it's truly impressive how good Rodrigo's songwriting is, especially considering she's only 18! I love the emotion she packs into each song, from anger to sadness to forgiviness. Anyhoo, long story short, I've been playing SOUR on repeat and it's pretty damn clear to me that Rodrigo is definitely one to watch!

As someone who's also a book blogger, it's probably unsurprising that I love the little niche of YouTube that has come to be known as "booktube." Thus, it is probably also unsurprising that one of my latest favorites is a booktube channel I recently discovered called uncarley. The thing is, I feel like Carley's content is really accessible to people outside of the bookish community as well, which is so awesome! First off, she's fucking hilarious (which is unsurprising as apparently she's a trained professional comedian). Second off, she's just incredibly relatable and comes off as really down to earth. And, last but not least, her content is just plain fun! I also love that she talks so openly about being a young woman with ADHD (cause, lord knows, unfortunately us girlies with ADHD definitely don't get enough real life representation!). All in all, Carley's channel is sure to leave you bursting from laughter and with a few good book recommendations too!

Well, that's all for today, friends! I hope you enjoyed reading and maybe found something new to pique your interest. I know now that the weather is nice here in the DC area and I'm fully vaccinated, I'm sure I'll be finding plenty more new favorites to report back to y'all about soon enough. Anyhoo, I'm off to finish a great book I've been making my way through lately, so until next time, dear friends...

Hello, my dear friends, and welcome to the start of my new blogging adventure! I'm so glad you're here!

I started this blog as a way to give my unique persective on the world as a multiracial young woman in America. So, when I came across the mixed girl tag on Tumblr, I thought taking part would be a great way to introduce myself and help y'all get to know me! Let's not dilly dally anymore, though—let's just dive right in!

What are you mixed with?

I am Black American, Lebanese, Cherokee, and a smidge Scottish!

What ethnicities have you been mistaken for?

It honestly varies in different regions of the US and also based on what race/ethnicity the person I'm interacting with is. Black American folk generally take one look at me and immediately know that I'm Black, so most of them don't bother asking me what I am or making any assumptions or guesses as to my heritage. Similarly, Arabs always recognize me as Arab, however they tend to think I'm Afro-Arab instead of Asiatic Arab, likely because they see recognize the mixture of African/Arab but mistakenly ascribe it to the wrong African and Arab ethnicities (for example, Arabs frequently mistake me for being Moroccan). Latinx folk tend to mistake me for Puerto Rican or Brazilian, and I think this is partially because I'm a mixture of Black and Indigenous, similar to many Latinx people, especially in Puerto Rico and Brazil. White people typically don't think that I'm White, but also generally have no clue what race/ethnicity I might be. Some guesses I've gotten from many White folk are "some type of Latinx?" and Jewish.

Is your hair curly or straight?

My hair is really curly! To be specific, I have fine, highly porous 3C curls.

Was coming from different backgrounds challenging growing up?

In all honesty I'm happy to say that the answer is "not really." IMy hometown is incredibly racially and ethnically diverse and super integrated. For example, during the time I attended, my high school was one of the top three most racially diverse high schools in the US and there was no race-based violence. Because my hometown is so diverse, I was one of many mixed raced kids at my schools growing up, so I wasn't really viewed as "special," "different," or "unusual."

Which backgrounds did you embrace the most?

All of them! Growing up, I was fortunate to live in a home where I was really encouraged to embrace each and every part of all of my cultural heritages/identities and to learn every history and connect with every community and participate in every culture. I was also fortunate enough to grow up in an area that was diverse enough to facilitate that.

Have you ever been teased for being different?

I haven't necessarily been teased specifically for being mixed race, per se, but I've definitely been made fun of for different aspects of my racial/ethnic identity. For instance, I have very fair skin, but in almost every other way, I present as stereotypically "phenotypically Black" and growing up non-Black kids would make fun of me for both of those things. Having grown up in the aftermath of 9-11, I also had White folks saying a lot of really hateful things to me about my Arab heritage and calling me an "Arab terrorist."

Have you ever been ashamed of being multiracial?

Never! I grew up mainly with my mother, who is also multiracial (she's Lebanese, Black, and Irish) and she made a conscious effort to teach me to embrace the fullness of my multiracial heritage and to never be ashamed of it, no matter what others might say.

Do you feel that being mixed has its benefits?

I think it has its benefits only as much as being any race has its benefits. That being said, it definitely gives you a unique perspective and I, personally, feel a responsibility to use that unique perspective to leave the world a little better than I found it.

What makes being multiracial a beautiful thing?

I think being multiracial really showcases how each culture has so many similarities and so many differences and those similarities and differences are meant to be celebrated and shared, rather than ignored in favor of assimilation to one culture. The world is so much more beautiful when you learn to see it in color and to embrace that colorful nature of life. I feel like multiracial people really embody that particular truth and that's so beautiful and special.

Any advice to someone who struggles with their multiracial identity?

No matter what, don't break yourself into percentages! Embrace all of your cultural heritages as 100% a part of you and that you are a full human being!

So that's all for today, dear friends! Hopefully this tag gave you a better glimpse into who I am and what you can expect from me. I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences as a mixed person or as a non-mixed person in the comments and hopefully we can get a good discussion going and learn from each other!

Until next time, dear friends!

Lila