So, a while back, I was bored and scrolling through YouTube when I came across this video from an aesthetic lifestyle YouTuber that was called something like "how to romanticize your life." Curious, I clicked the link and watched the video. It was a very pretty, delicate, aesthetic video, but something about it troubled me and for a few days I couldn't figure out what it was. Finally, it struck me what my issue with the video was: it was incredibly materialistic in its basis, and, on top of that, most of the activities it suggested doing in order to "romanticize your life" were things that required a lot of money.

Now, I'm not trying to shame anyone for their wealth or their lifestyle, but, this vlogger was trying to pitch her version of "romanticizing your life" as being something that could help ease your struggles and stress in the midst of a fast-moving, productivity-obsessed world. But the only people who'd be able to access her version of this would be the upper middle class and the wealthy. And, to utilize a famous quote, "If it is not accessible to the poor, it is neither radical nor revolutionary."

Beyond that, there is also a larger issue with materialistic self care and romanticization. It's that if you're basing your happiness on materialistic things, your happiness will inevitably run out when you no longer have access to those things. Hence why basing your "self care" on a "treat yo' self!" mentality eventually falls apart. Sure, it'd be romantic to go out to a bakery and buy some freshly baked bread, as this vlogger suggested. But is your life any less romantic for not being able to afford it? I'd say not.

This got me thinking on how I'd personally define "romanticizing your life," and what I came down to is that "romanticizing your life" is a mindset, rather than a lifestyle. Which, of course, means that it's inherently accessible to everyone. So, what do I think are the key components of such a mindset? Well, friends, today that's what I'd like to share with you...

1. Being Intentional About Noticing Beauty In Everything Around You A friend once asked me for advice because she was feeling kinda blue. She told me that she was feeling like she would be resigned to accepting that life was just a series of monotonous events strung between very few "big moments of joy," such as graduating or getting married or something similar. So I gave her my perspective, which differed greatly from hers and which is this: There is magic in the ordinary, "small" moments, if only we choose to intentionally notice and appreciate it. Every morning you wake up and it's a miracle. Every moment you live on and the universe keeps moving forward, and there's so much beauty in that. And I know it can seem like the quiet days can drag on sometimes, but those quiet times? Those are the times we dream of going back to when the going gets tough. So we should enjoy them when we have them, even if they're not the most "worldshakingly astounding" events, right? I think so and I think recognizing the quiet, ordinary magic that literally everything in life has is the first key to "romanticizing" your life."


2. Making Self Love A Priority Look, as someone who faces a continuous struggle with depression and anxiety, I know this one is a lot harder than it seems. Nevertheless, we must persist, dear friends! So what do I mean by "self love," exactly? I think pop culture has created a very shallow idea of self love and self care for us, when practicing self love is so much more than bubble baths and repeating mantras to yourself—it's honest to god work! Yes, "self love" can take the form of splurging on a pretty top, but it can also take the form of taking three minutes to meditate or cultivating habits such as taking a walk once or twice a week or making dinner or cleaning or showering even when you don't feel like it. Practicing self love can also be kinda painful at times when it means stopping negative thought sprials or caring for yourself when you don't feel like you're worth it. But it's through these small, sometimes difficult steps that we begin to make our lives better and to free up mental space to recognize more often and be grateful for the beauty and magic of life and our own existence.


3. Making Space Within Yourself This one kind of piggybacks off the previous two, but I think it's equally important. I think, especially in The West, we live very busy, fast paced, noisy lives, where we don't really know how to feel comfortable slowing down our lives, thoughts, and emotions to the point where we can be intentional with and about them. I'm pretty sure this is one reason why DBT, or mindfulness-based therapy, is so popular with (and difficult for) Westerners. That all being said, I think making space within yourself, within your thoughts and emotions, so that you can intentionally notice the world around you and your reactions to it is really crucial to "romanticizing your life"! Think of it like this: if you don't make space in a room to add more to it, you'll end up with a room which has no space for what you love to have a place in it, because it's already too full. Your mind is like the room, and your thoughts and emotions are all the "stuff" you're filling it with. If you try to stuff the room of your mind full of all of the thoughts and emotions that you're hanging onto, instead of allowing those thoughts and emotions to float through and only intentionally keeping the relevant ones, you won't have the mental space to hang onto the recognition of the good and beautiful things in life.


4. Allowing Yourself Space To Feel "Negative" Emotions Too Look, we all know life isn't always rainbows and sunshine. As a matter of fact, I'd say the only quality of life that's pretty consistent is that it's hard work! And you know what? Sometimes that wears you down and that's okay. A lot of people view emotions like anger or sadness (among others) as "bad" or "wrong." But guess what—I couldn't disagree more. You're emotions are never "negative," but the ways in which you express them can sometimes be. Sometimes anger or sadness or frustration or lonliness are the correct emotion to feel. And it's important to take time to remember that. Allow yourself to feel those emotions fully in order to let them pass. I find that doing this gives me great comfort in times when I am feeling those "less desireable" emotions, and allows me to let go of them so that I have the emotional space to be at peace and/or happy once again.

So, friends, that's all for today. Life can be so fast-paced and demanding sometimes that it can really help to stop and take a moment to notice the beauty of being alive. And that's where romanticizing your life can really help you find your footing and feel you have room to breathe. That being said, I hope you may have found something useful when it comes to "romanticizing your life" in today's post! Until next time, dear friends...

My whole life has very much been defined by music. I grew up in a musical household (my dad was a professional musician and my mom was an amateur musician for most of her life), so I suppose it was kinda inevitable that I'd be a musician, the only question was "What type?" It became pretty obvious I'd be a singer as soon as I could string sounds together, though. My mom always fondly recounts how when I was a baby and we'd take the bus I'd always be babbling little musical fragments of "aaaah"s and she'd always jokingly tell the other passengers, "My daughter's going to be an opera singer!" Turns out mother knows best, as much later in life I did indeed choose to train as an opera and jazz singer 😂

Anyhoo, this is all to say music means more than words can express to me, which is why today's post is pretty special to me. Today I want to talk about some of my all-time favorite song lyrics, inspired by this post from my fellow blogger, Riddhi!

Never be so kind, you forget to be clever
Never be so clever, you forget to be kind

— "Marjorie" by Taylor Swift

To be honest, this entire song and its themes really struck at my heart and made me feel the ever-so-infamous Things™. Some background here: my father died when I was seven and my own grandmother died a year after that. This song speaks so beautifully about loss and what it's like when when someone you love so deeply dies. It also beautifully conveys how you always carry the love and lessons of your loved ones who have passed on with you, regardless of their lack of physical presence your life. But that's actually a sort-of tangent. I feel like these particular lyrics convey one of those beloved messages left behind in the wake of someone's loss—and a gorgeous one that really speaks to me, personally, at that.

And I'm so sick of 17
Where's my fucking teenage dream?
If someone tells me one more time
"Enjoy your youth, " I'm gonna cry

— "Brutal" by Olivia Rodrigo

God, if these lyrics don't capture that disappointing feeling of slowly growing up and realizing that life isn't what you thought it would be, then I don't know what does! There's something to be said about the fact that the sentiment of these particular lyrics still ring true with me, despite the fact that age 27, I am way past 17 (and, just a heads up: I'm still wondering where my fucking teenage dream is). I feel like these lyrics—hell, this entire album—really strike at the heart of that uniquely teen and twenty-something urge to just scream and rage at life for how unfair it is. I love this because girls and women are so rarely (if ever) allowed to publicly express anger, even when that anger is justified, like being angry at the unique and inherent injustice we endure throughout our lives. In this way, Rodrigo's anger at life not reflecting the dream she was sold is surprisingly refreshing!

To be wanted with truth
And make formidable love
See light in myself
That I see inside everyone else I know

— "The Deepest Sighs, The Frankest Shadows" Cover by Gretta Ray

Do you want to know a secret, friends? This is one of the only songs that makes me crank out the tears like a fountain.In particular, this is a song lyric that is so hard to talk about because it just so elegantly and concisely describes emotions I've felt so deeply for my entire life. My whole life I've felt this incredible lonliness and this song helped me to know that I'm not alone in that feeling, which in and of itself made me feel a little less alone.

I've got so much soul inside my bones

— "Ultralife" by Oh Wonder

I feel like this lyric perfectly describes who I am as a human being! I've always been very vivacious and full of so much life. This lyric captures that feeling of just being bursting with soul and eagerness to experience all that life has to give. Whenever I hear this song, I remember who I am and why I should love myself, and that's one of the best things a song can give, in my opinion.

And I like sometimes to wave it high
Up where everyone can see
I'm a lady
Got my mind made up
Got my mind made up
I know I spend magic reel it out
Try to hold a light to me
I'm a lady
Got my mind made up
Got my mind made up

— "I'm A Lady" by Santigold

I loved this song when I was in my late teens/early twenties and I recently rediscovered it and remembered why I loved it so much. I feel like these lyrics are just such a beautiful, simple celebration of being a woman and, in the world of late spring/early summer of 2022 where the US's Roe v. Wade ruling is likely to be reversed, I just needed this song right when it found me again!

You taught me the courage of stars before you left
How light carries on endlessly, even after death
With shortness of breath
You explained the infinite
And how rare and beautiful it is to even exist

— "Saturn" by Sleeping at Last

Is there anyone who doesn't cry when they hear this song??? Because I do, like, every time! These lyrics mean so much to me because they remind me how precious life is and how even after death the ones we love never really leave us. Whether it's their memories, or the impression of light their images leave on the backs of our eyelids, they're always there and nothing and no one can take that love from us.

Well, dear friends, that’s all I have for you today. I hope you enjoyed this post and/or maybe found a new song to go listen to! Definitely share your own favorite lyrics in the comments—I’d love to know which ones have struck a chord with you! Until next time…

• What are some of your favorite lyrics?
• Do you have any song lyrics that feel like they define a particular period in your lifetime?